6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Engaged

Whether you’ve been together for a month or a year, when you meet “the one,” you’ll just know. Or maybe you don’t, and that’s why you’re here reading this!

When you’re in love, it’s an indescribable gut feeling. And while you may have marriage on your mind, you may be wondering if it’s “too soon” by society’s standards. I think you should do what you want to do, but there are six questions that I think you should ask yourself and reflect on before getting engaged to be married. 

Have you suffered a hardship together, or separately?

Have you lived through an economic recession or maybe like, a worldwide virus flu pandemic together? Whether you’ve been shacked up together and sheltering in place, or you’ve experienced another hardship, such as the loss of a job or family member, you want to know how you and your partner react in hard situations and overcome them with adversity. Ask yourself:

  • Did you come out of the situation stronger?
  • Did you support your partner and feel supported?
  • When you fight, do you resolve the issue and compromise? It’s important to voice your concerns in a relationship, so they don’t simmer and become a more significant issue down the road. (Hint: if you NEVER fight, this is also an issue)
  • Did you communicate everything thoroughly?

If both of you grow closer together and healthier as a result of a hardship, it’s a definite sign that you are more than compatible, you’re able to handle whatever life throws at you.

How good is your communication with each other?

And speaking of communication, how effectively do you voice your concerns to your partner? How does he/she react? Do you feel safe and comfortable to express anything and everything, even in the “heat of the moment,” when you can say things you later regret?

A relationship simply is not stable without excellent communication. You both should be able to communicate with each other without fear of your partner’s reaction or rejection.

And more importantly, when you communicate, did they listen and reciprocate? If you have an agreed-upon action, did they hold to their promise? These are all critical questions to ask yourself about your communication skills together.

Are you past your “honeymoon phase”?

Ah, the beloved honeymoon or puppy love phase. Many people see this differently; it could be growing out of lust into love, or maybe moving past the stage of putting each other on a pedestal. Whatever this means to you, the intense emotions associated with passionate love have physical manifestations, such as butterflies in the stomach or heart palpitations.

In reality, what this means is, can you go through the day to day together? Sitting in traffic, waiting for the other person to finisih on the toilet, and other not so glamorous, yet necessary parts of being in a relationship and living together.

Do you already happily live together?

It hasn’t been taboo for decades now to live together before you wed. It’s practical; you can learn how you go about the mundane tasks of life and see how well you cohabitate. This one is a no brainer; if you are always sick of being around your partner in your home, they may not be the right fit. Many couples argue about household chores and tidiness/cleanliness. A few ways to mitigate this are to:

  • Designate days to share chores
  • Hire a housekeeper and split the cost
  • Create separate spaces where you can decompress and not worry about the other person’s clutter

And if you’re cohabitating and things are great, then it’s inevitable, you’ll continue to be BFF roommates when you get engaged and marry. 

Do you have similar wants for the future and goals?

It may not be so apparent at times because we can be blinded by love, but do you both have similar interests in life, including your future and goals? Love is all about compromise, so we always make compromises for each other to be able to be with each other, but if your future goals are so far off, it may not be worth getting engaged to this person.

That’s not to say that they aren’t an essential person in your life. Still, not all loves end in “together forever.” It’s vital to be conscious of it. It’s much better to go your separate ways on excellent terms than to loathe each other over time because of unwanted compromises you made or following your partner’s path.

Only you can know the right time in your heart (and your gut!)

If you know yourself thoroughly, then you can trust your gut and your instinct. Don’t wait until your family, friends, or society deems it appropriate to get engaged. Do what makes your heart sing! If your family and friends care for you, they will support your decision unless there are visible signs that you should not go further with your partner.

What do I do after I’m engaged?

Congratulations! Once you’re engaged, there’s a lot to plan for your wedding. The first and foremost of importance is where you want to host your wedding. There are many Sonoma wedding venues and Northern California wedding venues where can host your weddings & events. If you’re opting for an all-inclusive venue, you may consider the rustic elegance of Mountain House Estate. That’s because we offer California wedding packages that are entirely customizable and don’t have any scary surprises or hidden fees. 

All-Inclusive Wedding Venue
What does all-inclusive mean? It can mean so many different things at all Sonoma wedding venues. Here at Mountain House Estate, your planner, catering, florals, rentals, photographer, and venue are all in one place, meaning fewer contracts and stress. 

Outdoor Wedding Ceremonies

If you’re Googling “Outdoor Wedding Ceremonies,” you’ve probably stumbled across so many different offerings that you have questions and are even more confused than when you began the search. Mountain House Estate is renowned for its outdoor wedding ceremonies; we have several locations outside, so you aren’t tied to one spot. And that’s sort of our theme and culture — your wedding, customized, exactly how you want it. No limitations. No unwanted surprises. Let us help you remove some of that stress. Contact us today.

Weddings & Events

Mountain House Estate has hosted hundreds of weddings & events since its inception. Although our specialty is weddings and elopements, we have hosted numerous other social and corporate events. So if you’re looking for a venue that hosts both weddings & events, you’ve come to the right place.

Northern California Wedding Venues

Mountain House Estate is one of many Northern California wedding venues, and although we may be biased, there are other Northern California wedding venue styles to search. To read up on styles and different areas for Northern California wedding venues, click here.

About the Author

Elizabeth Nelson is obsessed with weddings & events..and more importantly, love! In her free time, she’s seeking out the best Northern California wedding venues and looking for ways to help make Mountain House Estate the best all-inclusive wedding venue with amazing packages and customizations for all wedding couples. In her free time, she loves hiking mountains and riding bikes.

About Mountain House Estate

Mountain House Estate is one of the most prestigious and sought after Northern California wedding venues. Owned by husband & wife team John & Lane, it’s one of the few all-inclusive wedding venues in Northern California that offers you rustic elegance at all weddings & events. When you choose Mountain House Estate, you get a team of wedding experts to help you plan your wedding to make sure it’s the best day of your life. 

All-Inclusive Wedding Venue

What does all-inclusive mean? It can mean so many different things at all Northern California wedding venues. Here at Mountain House Estate, it means that your planner, catering, florals, rentals, photographer, and venue are all in one place, meaning fewer contracts and stress. 

Wedding Packages California

If you’re seeking out wedding packages California online, you’ve probably stumbled across so many different offerings that you have questions and are even more confused than when you began the search. Let us help you remove some of that stress. Contact us today.

Weddings & Events

Mountain House Estate has hosted hundreds of weddings & events since its inception. Although our specialty is weddings and elopements, we have hosted numerous other social and corporate events. So if you’re looking for a venue that hosts both weddings & events, you’ve come to the right place.

Northern California Regions

Bay Area | East Bay | Lake County Wine Country | Lake Tahoe / Northern Sierras | Monterey and Carmel | Napa and Sonoma Wine Country | North Bay / Marin | North Coast / Mendocino | Redwood Coast / Humboldt County | Sacramento / Gold Country | San Francisco | SF Peninsula / Half Moon Bay | San Joaquin and Central Valley | Santa Cruz | Shasta / North State | Solano County | South Bay / San Jose | Tri-Valley and Livermore Wine Country | Yosemite / Mammoth / Forests |

Distance from Mountain House Estate to other Northern California regions:

  • Cloverdale – 15 minutes (9 miles)
  • Geyserville – 25 minutes (19 miles)
  • Healdsburg – 30 minutes (27 miles)
  • Ukiah – 40 minutes (25 miles)
  • Santa Rosa – 45 minutes (41 miles)
  • Marin – 1 hour 20 minutes (72 miles)
  • Mendocino Coast – 1 hour 20 minutes (59 miles)
  • East Bay – 1 hour 36 minutes (96 miles)
  • Napa – 1 hour 40 minutes (70 miles)
  • San Francisco – 1 hour 45 minutes (96 miles)
  • North Coast – 1 hour 50 minutes (86 miles)
  • Sacramento – 2 hour 20 minutes (120 miles)
  • San Jose – 2 hour 30 minutes (140 miles)
  • Santa Cruz – 2 hour 50 minutes (165 miles)
  • Redding – 3 hours (190 miles)
  • Central Valley – 3 hours 15 minutes (165 miles)
  • Monterey – 3 hour 25 minutes (200 miles)
  • Carmel Valley – 3 hour 30 minutes (216 miles)
  • Tahoe – 4 hour 23 minutes (250 miles)
  • Yosemite – 5 hours (270 miles)